Unfurling The Soul’s Gifts: On Blessing, Blooming and the Courage to Be Who You Are

Some gifts don’t fully blossom until later in life. Not because they weren’t there to begin with, but because they weren’t seen. The ones we needed to witness us, mirror us, attune to us as little ones… didn’t. Or couldn’t.

But soul gifts don’t disappear. They don’t die. They wait patiently in the darkness.

Tucked quietly into drawers and journals and dreamscapes and daydreams, they wait for the moment when it’s safe to unfurl. When we are met. When someone finally says: I see you. That is real. You are good.

You. Are. Good.

The Sacred Power of Blessing

I’ve come to believe that blessing is one of the most powerful gifts we can offer each other.
I don’t mean a formal blessing in a religious sense nor an obligated, performative one, but rather a genuine, heart-felt act of seeing, given freely as soul nourishment.
As the moment of true recognition that says: I wish you well on your way. I do not obstruct your becoming. I see and honour who you are at your core, and what you’re here to bring. You are welcome in all your uniqueness. Your gifts matter, please bring them fully to the table.

So many of us are starving for that.

Especially if when we first came into the world, as gifted children- sensitive, perceptive, creative, full of questions and inner fire- we were not blessed in those gifts.
Maybe we were shamed for being too much. Maybe we were told we were wrong for seeing what others didn’t. Maybe we were scolded “Nobody likes a show off!” when we were innocently and joyfully expressing our essence, connecting to all that is and being free.
Or maybe our gifts simply went unnoticed, in the words of Marion Woodman, left untouched like unopened letters.

And yet, the longing didn’t disappear. It followed us. Into our work. Our relationships. Our quietest hopes. It became a thirst, a hunger, a search to eventually find someone, who might take the time, and have the level of presence and generosity needed to see beyond the surface.

This is what I’ve seen again and again in my coaching practice: gifted women who bloom later in life because they spent so long waiting for permission.
And what they are waiting for, more than anything, is blessing.

Teaching and the Mirroring of Gifts

Before I became a coach, I was a teacher. I still make time to work with a few children every term, because I loved it so much. Not because I was remotely stimulated by ticking boxes or overseeing neat handwriting, but because I adored being entrusted with a child’s inner world. Teaching is really about presence, and nurturing, being a soul-gardener. I loved watching their faces when something clicked, when their eyes lit up with knowing, and a shy, satisfied smile emerged, or a chest puffed with glowing pride. When, in their innocent way of learning to be in relationship, they proudly brought me something they’d made or found- a drawing, a poem, a petal- and waited to see if it mattered.

A heart-shaped petal from a student <3

I never, ever threw those offerings away.

Even a feather, a scribble, a curled-up leaf, these were treasures. I kept them on a shelf in my office where the children could come back and see that their gift was still there. And they often did, eyes scanning to check, did I still treasure it?

Honoured. Held. Sometimes years would pass before I gently let them go. But by then, the sacred act of blessing the offering had already done its work.

Because children, especially those with the gifts of sensitivity, creativity and intensity, live in an ensouled world.
Every object has meaning. Every glance carries weight. They are porous. Forming their sense of self by watching how the world reflects them.

And so many of us remember that one teacher, if we were lucky, who looked at us with real recognition. Not for our perfect behaviour, but for our unedited essence. The way that moment fed us like sunlight.
And we also remember the opposite. The teacher who dismissed us. Shamed us. Made us feel small in front of our peers. Those moments become etched like scars, forming the basis for the doubt we carry into adulthood.

Sometimes, what we call a "confidence issue" is just the result of not being blessed at a key developmental moment.

The Role of Self-Objects in Growing a Soul

In depth psychology, there’s a concept called self-objects, first developed by Heinz Kohut, and deeply compatible with Jungian thought.
Briefly put, the idea is that we form our sense of self through the people and objects around us, especially early in life.
Through relationships and symbols, we come to know who we are.

A parent’s loving gaze. A grandparent’s encouragement. A favourite teacher’s affirming words. These are self-objects.

But so are the objects we hold close when people aren’t safe. Or available.

All children, but especially those not mirrored well in relationships, often attach to symbolic self-objects: a worn blanket, a stone from the beach, a stuffed animal, a trinket, a bright thread. These are not “just things”, they are meaning-bearers. They carry memory, comfort, belonging, inspiration, even relationship. Sadly, they, and the life that we breathe into them through our developing inner world of fantasy, may be more reliable than what is around us. So we merge with them in order to hold on to our essential identity somehow, in the absence of attuned mirroring from caregivers. It is ingenious when you think about it, and highly adaptive.

And for some of us, this doesn’t entirely end in childhood.

As gifted, creative adults, especially those healing early wounds, we still search for, and surround ourselves with symbolic self-objects.
A certain crystal. A piece of jewellery. A particular notebook. The scent of an oil that reminds us of home, whatever ‘home’ is for us.
A photo of someone who believed in us. These items offer more than aesthetic joy, they hold us together when parts of us feel fragmented.

They become the scaffolding for our blooming.

And just like we develop discernment in objects, as we heal, we hopefully also learn to discern whose voices we allow in- whose opinions shape us, and whose get filtered out. Who we stay in relationship with, and who we disconnect from. Not everyone qualifies to be a mirror. Some are not able to offer a clear reflection, never mind a blessing. Not every critic earns a seat in our inner council.

Why Some Women Bloom Later

Some of the women I work with are later bloomers when it comes to living into their unique gifts. Not because they lack passion or drive, they are almost always highly accomplished by the time we meet. But because blooming isn’t about achievement, it’s living true to your soul’s purpose. And the early ingredients for blooming weren’t there.
No one watered them. Or perhaps worse, someone starved them or told them they must shrink.

But blooming can’t be rushed. And soul doesn’t run on the clock.

A woman who blooms later carries wisdom in her roots. Her gifts may be soft at first, shy from disuse, but they are no less radiant.
In fact, they are often more potent for having waited, growing underground. She has earned the right to show up even more powerfully now.

She’s had to re-parent herself. Re-bless herself. Build the mirrors she never had.

And she’s learned that living a soul-led life isn’t about being fearless. It’s about trembling forward anyway.
About singing barefoot in the forest and crying in the corporate stairwell. About writing what needs to be written, even if no one claps.

She doesn’t seek applause anyway. She needs truth. And perhaps, still, a little blessing.

Reclaiming the Power of Blessing

Blessing is not something we should have to beg for. It should be the natural language of community, of relationship, of witnessing.

But if it wasn’t given to us early on, we must become the ones who offer it now. To ourselves. To each other.
To the tender-hearted visionaries who are just beginning to unfurl.

This is a huge part of my ‘why’ in life. It lives at the core of everything I do and create.

Because I know what it’s like to have to create your own cocoon of safety. To hold onto your gifts for dear life while others scoffed or ignored them. Or worse, projected cruelly onto you or excluded you from the clique precisely because of them. I know what’s it’s like to wish someone would come and say: Yes, you. I see you. You’re not wrong for being this way. You survived against all the odds with your essence in tact, and that is magnificent and sacred. You’re welcome with me.

And I also know the healing power of being seen, blessed, and encouraged by someone who gets it. Small, consistent acts of seeing one’s essential goodness are like water droplets in a desert to a woman longing for blessing. And I know the joy of being the one who blesses at every opportunity, to make sure that on my watch, blossoming is nurtured and celebrated.

You shouldn’t have to walk this path alone. And you certainly shouldn’t have to bloom in exile.
Because when one sovereign blesses another, something ancient and sacred is restored.

If you’re ready to be more visible, to bloom and to fully bring your gifts forth in the world, this is exactly the work we do in my mentorship and one to one depth coaching containers.

May this be the season you unfurl. 
And may you be blessed, over and over again, for the courage it takes to be who you are.